Lessons from the Infertile, Some questions are NOT ok to ask

The other day we were at Wal-Mart (which is a horrifying experience in and of itself) and Jamie saw someone he knew from high-school. He proceeded to go to her and speak. I, on the other hand, was lucky enough to be picking out eggs. I wanted to avoid the awkward conversation and silence that falls after the initial catching up. You know that silence after each party has caught the other one up and you just don't know how to end it? You know that you really don't care to see the person again or make any future plans , but you don't want to be rude and just walk away. So you smile and say, "Well it was nice seeing you...take care" or something to that effect.
So I was at the eggs (ironic...considering the questions the "old friend" would ask), and Jamie was speaking. I looked over in the general direction and smiled a few times trying to take as much time as I possibly could to avoid the conversation.
Jamie comes back to me and we start down one of the aisles. Jamie was sort of laughing and I asked him the basics..."Who was that?" "How do you know her?" "What did she say?" (Jamie gets quit annoyed with me because I ask him these series of questions after every single conversation he has, whether in person or on the phone,) So he begins to tell me the questions that she asked him. One of them being a question that we are often asked, "So, do you have any children?"
Now, this seems like a perfectly normal question to ask the non-infertile. To the PregNOT though, it can be rather, shall I say.....annoying. Our normal response to this question is always cordial. Something like...."Not yet" or "We are hoping to one day". But I tell you, sometimes I have to fight the urge to look the interrogator in the face and say "My husband doesn't have a lot of sperm, we've been trying for two years, I've tried everything from standing on my head to doing cartwheels and holding my breath on Sundays, and it is a very painful experience. But thanks for asking." I really would love to see the expression on the persons face! Now, I know that this might sound mean, but one thing I have realized throughout my infertility journey is to be very selective in what you ask people.
The girl at Wal-Mart went on to say, "Well what are ya'll waiting for! We're not getting any younger!". Jamie, being the sweet polite person he is just smiled and said, "Maybe one day." I just wonder what her face would have looked like if his response would have been "We were actually waiting on running into you, now we can go home and try! We are sure to conceive this very night!" and "Yes, I know that we are not getting any younger, but we are actually wanting to win the award for the oldest parents to ever naturally conceive a child . We are so competitive and all".

Other things are remedies and stories of "You know my sisters, neighbors, friends, nephew in law had a low count and they took some pills, well I can't remember the name of them, but they got pregnant the very next month."
WOW....who knew that anyone can now be a qualified infertility specialist. If only I had known that it was so simple....