I'm an adopted child.
I was given up for adoption and placed with a foster family for 6 weeks. My parents got "the call" about a little girl who was available. They were on their way the very next day to pick me up. My dad, a teacher, ran around the top of the gym in his school because he was so very excited about getting a baby girl.
That is the truth of my birth. I do not know my birthmother. It was a closed adoption and I have very little information about her.
I came across this today and I must say that it really strikes a nerve. It is a book called "Primal Wound". I do not want to say anything about the woman who wrote this because I am sure she is a very nice person. But I wholeheartily disagree with her. I have not read the book but read her position.
In this statement she says that the truth is "Every adopted child will experience abandonment and loss". Really?
Because I have to say my whole life I've felt more wanted, more loved, more support than a lot of people I know. My parents desired me. My mother and father prayed countless hours for me. (And I sorta believe this is the reason for my struggle with thinking I'm so awesome.)
I fault my biological mother none for placing me for adoption. Not. One. Single. Bit. I am so very, very grateful for her decision. I have a special place in my heart for her, even though we have never met. She gave me life.
For someone to write generalizations like this is very frustrating. I did not, do not, will not ever feel abandoned. God has a specific purpose for my life and my adoption was all a part of that plan.
I understand that not everyone's adoption story has a happy ending. There are a lot of issues in adoption. It's not always poptarts and roses. But for me, I don't believe I was abandoned, I don't believe my birth was an accident, I don't believe I could have been parented better by my birth mother. I absolutely believe I was parented by my "real" parents. And I am not in denial about that. PLEASE!
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4 comments:
"Every adopted child will experience abandonment and loss".
I agree with you.
That statement is BUNK!
Well, then again, I did feel loss when my hampster Boo died. That was tragic.
I emailed the author and told her I disagreed with her statements. I am on track with Marcie. I do not think that all children experience abandoment and loss, unless they are older when seperated from the parents. Sometimes they are glad to get out of the bad situation.
Wow! I have quite a few friends who were adopted and they all tell me how blessed they feel to have been parented and loved by their parents.
You tell it how it is Marcie!
I am sure your birthmom would feel so blessed herself in hearing this.
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