Abundantly More

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" Ephesians 3:20-21

I found this today and I was amazed at how much it spoke to me. I think sometimes it's easy to focus on our situation/circumstance at hand and see what is missing. Often times our prayers, although sincere, focus on the things that are missing. Asking God to provide patience in dealing with this or that, asking God to provide wisdom, asking God to provide financially, asking God to provide stability or maybe freedom from a certain sin. While all of these things are good....we do need to ask God to provide for us where we come up short (which is indeed in everything), the part that I often miss is recognizing where he has already provided and praising Him for his provision.

I tend to focus mostly on my need. I am thankful that I recognize my need. For me, this was a huge turning point in my spiritual journey. So, I don't want you to think that I am down playing that in the least. Realizing our need for God and that we are sinners is ultimately why we need to be saved. But I think what I so often miss is recognizing and aknowledging that God is doing a work inside of me and I am being changed each day.

He is able to do abundantly more that we can ever ask or imagine. And he does. I think I just sometimes miss it because I am focusing on my needs. And then it hits me like a ton a bricks at how much God has completely transformed my heart. He has done more that I could ever ask or imagine.

I remember praying so fervently that God would bless us with a baby. I knew that the desire to have children was placed in my heart by God. I could not understand why it was so difficult for us to conceive. I didn't understand for so long why God would put the desire in my heart to be a mom, buy yet not allow us to get pregnant. It didn't make sense to me. ME. That was the center of my focus for several years. And then one day I realized that it wasn't about me.

And now He is doing abundantly more than I could have ever asked or imagined according to His power that is at work within me. God is answering our prayers for a baby. It is not coming in the way we thought it would initially. But it will be coming. He is answering our prayers and blessing this process of adoption. I have never experienced anything quit like it. I am one of those people who usually is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Anytime I experience anything good, I know that just around the corner there is a catastrophe. But today, I choose to thank God for his work within me. I choose to hope in our future. I choose to acknowlege that He is doing abundantly more than anything I could ever ask or imagine. And I choose not to think that something bad is lingering near by. God truly is blessing us and I am choosing to be ever so grateful to our Father for considering us worthy of His blessing.

So you think YOU can dance Smith girls and Ronnie?

Think again. Nothing compares to these moves. It's an official Autry and Smith dance off.

These are the moves that made me fall in love with Jamie in college. He now uses them to get our dog to "dance" with him. Nothing says Easter like an 80's love ballad and a dance party in the kitchen. My favorite part is the lunge move on the sink. Seriously ladies....he's all mine.

The Multitude of Muffins

So. Today was our home visit. Our social worker was scheduled to arrive at 9:30 a.m. In my mind, that is breakfast time. But maybe to you early risers, that's more like brunch. Either way, I thought I should have something baked.

My solution= mini muffins.

They're little, you don't have to have a plate to eat one, they are delicious, and let's face it....they are just so cute. Everything is cuter when it's tiny. Especially my bottom. And my clothes in high school.

Any how, I borrowed some mini muffin tins from my sister in law. I bought the packages of muffin mix (you know the kind where you just add milk....you didn't actually think I would make these from scratch did you? You might have forgotten where you were reading). I wipped those babies up and had timed it just right to pull them out right before her arrival. We had the coffee brewed and mini muffins cooking and all was right in the land of high carb breakfast.

Jamie decided to take a peak at the muffins while they were cooking. Here is our converstation...

M: "Do you think we'll have time to eat a few before she arrives?"

J: "You know, I just hope we have enough of them" as he stares at the three pans of muffins in the oven.

M: "Do you think I made too many?"

J: "There are 32"

M: "Well, that should be enough for three people. Or maybe we could feed the 5,000? "

Well...

I'm speechless today.

I have so many different emotions going on that I truly do not know what to say. I feel a little bit like I'm surrounded by a giant bubble and I just float throughout the days activities. Nothing really seems very important.

I seriously can't quit thinking about the fact that Jamie and I will be parents. It's very true that we have no idea when that time will come. But the truth is now, that it will come. And really, I just can't believe it.

I'm scared, excited, sad, overjoyed, overwhelmed, and at peace. How in the world do all of those things exist inside of one person? I am a walking contradicion. One big bottle of oil and water.

It's becoming more real to me as we complete each step of this process. I have three more pieces of paperwork to complete and the BFPOP (big fat packet of paper) will be done. We have one more visit, which will be at our home, and then we're done with the homestudy process. We'll be waiting to hear if we are approved. Then the wait begins for an expectant mother to sacraficially consider adoption and choose us to raise her child.

For so long, the idea of being parents seemed out of reach. Now it's becomming a reality and I just don't know what to say.

How can I have so much love for a child that I've never even met?

Well, I guess I wasn't really speechless. It's probably a pretty safe bet that I'll never truly be speechless.

A Meeting and some Mexican food...a perfect combination

We went last night for our second meeting with our social worker. This one was quit a bit longer. She met with Jamie while I watched some videos and then we switched. It was sort of like an interview really. I was just praying the whole time that Jamie didn't bust out with any of his inappropriate jokes. 'Cause he has a few.

This meeting went just as smoothly as the first. It was laid back and informal. I didn't even wear my fancy boots this time. I was happy and comfortable in my wallabees and courdaroy pants. I'm not sure how to spell courdaroy. I just looked it up in the dictionary and I couldn't find it. Probably because I don't know how to spell it. That or the fact that it is a .97 cent dictionary from Wal-Mart. It's not exactly all inclusive. Either way, I was comfortable.

The last two meeting we have had to travel to Memphis which is about an hour and a half from our house. And sometimes, I think it's a little bad because I get really excited about that because I know we are going to go out to eat. I mean, not that I don't look forward to our interviews and all, but a chance to not cook and have food prepared for me is like a vacation. Imagine the kinds of things that will excite me after we actually become parents. I might even start liking Wal-Mart.

And just for the record...I heart Mexican food. I could totally eat that cheese dip everyday and never get tired of it. The chips we had last night were toasted to perfection. It was a little slice of salty cornchip goodness dipped in white Mexican cheese heaven. I went to sleep with a smile.

We have one more visit with our social worker. She will actually come to our house to make sure it is "child friendly". So we have to lock up all our guns and get a fire extinguisher. When I say "our" guns, I'm sure by now you know that means Jamie's. I've never shot one in my life.

****I have to interupt this blog to tell you that it is snowing here. Major accumulation on the ground. Well my husband, being the dear heart that he is, just went outside knocked on my office window and pointed to my name he just peed in the snow. ****

Anyway...because this post is getting long and out of control, here is a summary. We had a good meeting, we ate some good Mexican food, and we set up our next visit. After that point she will determine if we are approved and then if we are, we'll just be waiting for an expectant mother to choose us.

That's all for now. Hope your weekend is happy and bright. Our weekend will be white (and the yellow part where my name is).