I thought that after we got our approval, there would be a big burden lifted off of us. No more paperwork, no more water testing, we would be approved and waiting to be picked. I thought that would be easy after all the ordeals we had been through the past several months.
But of course, I was wrong!
Now, all we can do is wait and pray. There is no goal that we are actually "working" towards. We are just simply to wait to be chosen. And I think about it all day.
I have walked through the baby section in every store I've been in this week. I have trouble going to sleep now. I have painted the babies room and put together the crib. I have been searching online for a cute, green glider/rocker. I have sat in the floor of the nursery about 15 times. And I have prayed quit unceasingly for our future baby.
So, the waiting......well not so easy. It's quit consuming.
In adoption, there are so many things that are unknown. This makes the planning quit difficult, but at the exact same time it is exciting. While I don't get to experience a positive pregnancy test (which, let's face it, is just a stick with pee on it) or nine months of being pregnant, I do get to experience this waiting (without gaining weight....hopefully) and I will get to experience a phone call to say we have been chosen. And I will get to witness first hand one of the great mysteries of heaven; the unconditional loving of a child that was not born of us, but placed in our hearts. And while this may seem different to some, it seems very natural to us.
To say we are excited would be the understatement of the year. We are also anxious, nervous and scared. But I have to think that this is how all expecting parents feel. And we are in fact expecting parents.
So, week one down. Who knows how many more to go!